


Changes

by Sinine



Category: One Outs - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Condoms, I didn't add a condom to the blowjob scene..., M/M, Mostly safe sex practices, Praise Kink, Pre-Relationship, Use condoms when blowing guys people, blowjob, but tokuchi does, it skirts the borders of dub-con but is never actually dub-con, rimjob, well ideguchi doesnt know he has a praise kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-11 22:05:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10475421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinine/pseuds/Sinine
Summary: It was less than a second and the catcher had pushed end call before he could properly even hear it, but the sound that came from the other end of the phone sounded light and airy, saying the first few letters of 'Tou–', before getting cut off by the end of the call. Ideguchi was so startled the phone fell from his loose fingers and he scrambled to not let it hit the ground, heart suddenly up in his throat.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Various language oddities may occur.
> 
> Was semi-betad by b_rook and myself. I say semi, because neither of us are native english speakers haha.
> 
> I started writing this in march of 2016. Further notes and explanation at the end notes. Enjoy!

 

Ideguchi absently chewed on his thumb as he watched the team struggle against their opponents. It wasn't even that the other team was out of their league – that was normal for them by now – but it was more because of the fact that their team members were in some kind of a slump today. Each and every member seemed to be having some sort of a problem at one point or another, fucking up various easy tasks like they hadn't in a long while.

 

For example, Imai hadn't connected his bat with the ball even once in his last three at-bats (and this time it wasn't because of an immensely strong pitcher), Kinosaki had fumbled the ball on their defense (which resulted in the enemy team scoring), Fujita actually missed a fastball straight down the middle.

 

And so on and so forth.

 

But because of everyone being out of their element it also brought in a wave of negativity that circled around them viciously. Coach Mihara had yelled at nearly everyone at this point and the team was very snappish with each other. Ideguchi himself had very nearly lost it at a younger pitcher.

 

It was becoming rather nerve wracking, especially since they were down by four points in the bottom of the 7th inning. And if they wouldn't get their shit together they would probably lose.

 

Wait. Scratch that. **Definitely** lose.

 

A nervous sort of shudder ran down Ideguchi's back and he instantly wished for the calm that usually came over him when he was catching Tokuchi's pitches. The sort of calm that derived from confidence, saying _'I can trust this man to not let us down. I can trust him to bring us to victory.'_

 

Because no matter how many things went wrong during a game where Tokuchi was playing, Ideguchi always saw the quiet confidence that exuded from the blond, which in turn made him feel more confident. Maybe it worked that way for the other players as well? Was that the reason no one was playing well? Because Tokuchi wasn't playing today?

 

Ideguchi stopped chewing on his thumb to cross his hands, feeling a restless sort of energy run through him, with seemingly no way to let it out since even playing on the field didn't get rid of it. He felt tempted to call Tokuchi, to ask for a pep talk or something, even if the thought of doing that was humiliating as all hell.

 

Ishiyama struck out immediately after he'd thought that and Ideguchi finally made up his mind. Yeah, no, the game couldn't go on like this.

 

He carefully excused himself from the dugout and went down to the locker room to finally give the other half of the team's main battery a call.

 

He heard the first ring in his ear when he was suddenly struck by immense dread and embarrassment. He very nearly ended the call before the other could answer, self-conscious about himself suddenly needing help from Tokuchi on his day off. Because, although the pitcher managed to calm him down, he also managed to make him feel utterly average, and even incompetent at times. Hopefully he wouldn't pick up.

 

"Hello, Ideguchi."

 

No such luck.

 

"Ah, Tokuchi," Ideguchi began, infinitely grateful his voice wasn't wavering from startled nervousness. "Sorry to bother you on your day off. Are you busy?" Thank you both his brain and vocal chords for not failing him now.

 

"I wouldn't be answering if I was," Tokuchi sounded amused. Ideguchi very nearly punched himself in the face for his stupid question.

 

"Right, uh, can I ask for your help regarding today's game?" No point in beating around the bush then. If he could quickly and calmly glean some sort of advice for his sucky team, that would be great.

 

Tokuchi didn't waste time, acknowledging Ideguchi didn't have much time, "Tell me everything." He didn't even sigh in exasperation like Ideguchi had feared, which immediately set him more at ease. Half the reason he'd been embarrassed to call the blond was because he feared the other would be so sick of the team's incompetence, maybe only needing one more push before abandoning them.

 

And maybe he _was_ sick of them, just that so far he hadn’t shown it.

 

Leaving out the opponents themselves, because, surprisingly, that wasn't what was giving their team a rough time, Ideguchi explained how nearly all of their players sucked today. The more he said the more he felt his nervousness ebb away, calmed down by Tokuchi's silent company and thinking. Once again the sort of calm confidence he only attributed to the pitcher washed over him, even if the other was nowhere near him. It was funny – he was the team's captain and yet he sought out Tokuchi for assurance.

 

By the end of his explanation he realized he'd started ranting instead of calmly telling the facts, and Ideguchi trailed off mid-sentence as a thought suddenly struck him, finding he knew how to help the team.

 

He was the fucking team captain!

 

Oh wow, he didn't even need the blond's advice anymore.

 

Tokuchi, who had been quiet up until then, finally asked, "Have you found your answer?" Of course the pitcher had probably realized from Ideguchi's very first sentence what was wrong and how to fix it. And in the end he hadn't even been needed. Ideguchi had just needed to rant himself dry to find how to fix their team.

 

Still, the catcher couldn't bring himself to regret calling the younger man, since it took the calm feel of their battery to get him to think clearly again. Tokuchi Toua was a miracle worker even when he wasn't around.

 

"Ah, yeah… Sorry about that, Tokuchi." He still felt embarrassed for babbling on like he had to the other, but the gratefulness outweighed any shame he felt.

 

"If you win the game I'll forgive you," Tokuchi's voice was amused again and a small chuckle sounded over the phone.

 

Ideguchi laughed as well, more relaxed than he'd felt for hours now. "Yeah, all right, I'll see you later, Tokuchi." He didn't really want to hang up, but the game wasn't going to wait.

 

It was less than a second and the catcher had pushed **end call** before he could properly even hear it, but the sound that came from the other end of the phone sounded light and airy, saying the first few letters of 'Tou–', before getting cut off by the end of the call. Ideguchi was so startled the phone fell from his loose fingers and he scrambled to not let it hit the ground, heart suddenly up in his throat.

 

Had he called Tokuchi whilst he was with a girl? It definitely sounded like it. In fact, the way Toua- _Tokuchi's_ name had sounded on the woman's tongue had indicated a rather intimate situation.

 

Ideguchi felt his ears suddenly burn as he realized what he'd interrupted with his call. And yet the pitcher had still answered his call, even if he didn't need to. He'd even mentioned he wasn't busy, which, in hindsight, had to be a lie, considering the breathless way he'd heard the woman's voice moan Tokuchi's given name. Had they been going at it, near silently, throughout the whole time Ideguchi had ranted on this side of the call.

 

Holy shit, that would explain why Tokuchi had been so quiet during their conversation!

 

Ideguchi groaned and hid his face behind his hands, which were still clutching the phone in a death grip, feeling the burn from his ears spreading over to his cheeks, to his neck, and even down to his chest, leaving behind tingles in their wake. How on earth did he manage to always embarrass himself so thoroughly when he was near the other player?!

 

Shit, what was he supposed to do now? Should he send a text to apologize? No, that wouldn't do! He couldn't interrupt Tokuchi in such an intimate moment for a second time. Maybe it would be better if he apologized the next time he met him? Or should he just feign ignorance? It wasn't like anything had to change now that Ideguchi was certain the other had a sex life. It was a perfectly natural aspect of human life, and Tokuchi was human after all... probably.

 

Had he wondered about Tokuchi's sex life before? Well, sure, in the same way he'd wondered about all of his team mates' sex lives, he supposed. But now that he found some grain of evidence to suggest something in Tokuchi's personal life, it suddenly absolutely floored him. It seemed so immensely intimate to know that fact about his pitcher, something he wasn't supposed to know.

 

Ideguchi swallowed, throat dry, and tried to push these thoughts away to concentrate on the game that was still going on instead. He carefully placed his phone in his pocket, the casing of it feeling slightly too hot against his touch, and inhaled deeply. He still felt shaken, but he knew he wouldn't have trouble focusing on the game. He was used to locking away all impertinent thoughts during a game, and this time wouldn't be different – he could do it.

 

Shoulders squared and head held high Ideguchi walked back out to his team, head calm again.

 

The very first thing he did, once he was back, was calmly settle a dispute, before focusing on the pitcher he'd nearly yelled at earlier. He apologized to him for his earlier attitude, suddenly aware how the other must have been nervous as hell because of this game. It was his first against a stronger opponent, after all.

 

Ideguchi smiled warmly at him and clapped him on the shoulder, wishing the other good luck for their next defense. He saw the tension flow out of the other in droves.

 

After that the team's catcher carefully took notice when someone, in this case it was Tomioka, got a particularly embarrassing out. The small grumbles from the rest of the team were getting louder as the player got back to the dugout, but Ideguchi just raised his voice over the others and yelled, "Don't mind, don't mind!" He smiled and pat the other on the back reassuringly.

 

"I'm sorry, Ideguchi, I couldn't hit it," Tomioka said, eyes glinting dangerously in a way that indicated he was going to cry soon.

 

Oh damn.

 

"You couldn't," Ideguchi acknowledged. "So you're going to do better on the outfield. And hit it on the next at-bat." He gave a small squeeze to the other, before turning back to the game. "Now reflect on what you did wrong this time, figure out how to do better." From the corner of his eyes he saw Tomioka give a harsh nod and go sit on the bench, eyes no longer misty, but glued in on the field.

 

Good.

 

After that whenever the coach, or someone else for that matter, found something to gripe about, Ideguchi just nipped it in the bud and drowned their jeers out with either praises or advice. Pretty soon they were all acknowledging what he was doing and the atmosphere inside the dugout became less hostile again.

 

Kojima walked up to him when he was putting on his catcher gear for their defense, a smile on his face. "Good going there, catcher."

 

Ideguchi grinned, "Well, someone has to keep the team level-headed like Tokuchi does. Can't have him doing that work on his day off."

 

The taller male hummed. "Tokuchi doesn't quite do it like that, though," he pointed out.

 

The catcher placed his helmet on his head. "No, he doesn't. This is my way of keeping everyone goal oriented. Not as effective as Tokuchi's mind games, I guess, but it'll have to do." He sat up and gave one small pat on Kojima's arm, before turning to the field to walk off. "I trust you can handle the team in my stead when I'm on the field." A request.

 

"Naturally. Thank you for the groundwork, captain."

 

 

––

 

 

Their game went into extra innings, but they managed to win by one point even so. It was harsh on them all, the last few innings draining them despite their generally better mood around each other after Ideguchi's praises and advices. And now, once all was said and done, they were happy, but still fatigued.

 

Ideguchi felt a smile tug at him when he heard the excited chatter of his team mates as they all changed clothes in the locker room. He was glad he'd managed to get them all calmed down before they lost, and even felt proud of himself for once. Maybe he should propose to go out for a drink or two with the others?

 

Just as he was going to turn and ask Kojima what he thought about a drink, the chatter suddenly skyrocketed. Confused, Ideguchi glanced where the commotion was coming from, wondering if coach had come to congratulate them. It wouldn't be the first time.

 

His breath got knocked out of him when he heard someone say 'Tokuchi', instantly reminded of the phone call from earlier. His skin crawled and he hurriedly put on his other shirt, willing himself to change clothes faster, mind racing all the while. Had Tokuchi come to see how their game had gone? And did he leave his girlfriend to do that?

 

His brain refused to stop replaying the last second of the phone call from before, mind going over the voice- the syllable- the breathy quality of the secret woman's voice.

 

_Tou-_

 

Ideguchi felt chills run down his back.

 

"What are you doing here, Tokuchi?! I thought it was your day off!" That sounded like Fujita.

 

"I got bored," Tokuchi's quiet voice floated from the other side of the room, tone as soft as it was an hour ago. "So I wondered how the team was doing against our newest opponents. Looks like I shouldn't have doubted you."

 

"Oh yeah, it was a harsh game, but we managed to win in the last second!" Imai shouted gleefully from next to Kojima, peeling off his uniform all the while.

 

"Oh? I heard you were all dominated in the first half. What happened in the second half to garner that win?"

 

"It was Ideguchi over here, Tokuchi," Kojima's cheerfully loud voice carried easily over to the other side of the room, before any of the others could try to suck up to the pitcher. "He managed to keep the team calm enough to ensure we got six more runs in the last few innings."

 

Ideguchi glared bitter betrayal at Kojima, before he realized the other man didn't know what he'd heard over the phone earlier, didn't know the blond had a sex life. For that matter, maybe the pitcher himself wouldn't realize he'd heard what he had back then. Maybe he could still pretend to be oblivious.

 

Tokuchi calmly walked up to him then, wearing tight black pants and his usual white button up shirt that was in _no way_ buttoned up all the way. If Ideguchi hadn't seen the other dress like that before when he'd changed clothes after games, the catcher would think the other half of the battery had definitely just gotten out of bed with someone and haphazardly thrown on whatever he found.

 

Shit. He probably had.

 

"Looks like I have to forgive you after all," Tokuchi drawled once he got close enough, an easy smile on his lips.

 

Don't call him Toua, don't call him Toua, don't call him Tou-

 

"Ah, yeah, sorry about that, Tokuchi." Ideguchi turned back to his locker, packing up his uniform. "But calling you really helped me clear my mind, so thanks for that." It had helped clear his head regarding the game, but had also dumped in all this unnecessary info his mind had started to dissect and prod at. Something he was _definitely not_ supposed to think about with the subject of those thoughts in front of him.

 

Ideguchi felt his nerves rubbed raw, stomach twisting into knots when he heard Tokuchi hum softly behind him. He sensed, rather than saw, the other staring at him, and the catcher felt like he was suffocating. His hands didn't shake as he folded his uniform up, but that was only because he was gripping it too tightly, aware of every inch of his own body suddenly. And so when the younger male finally turned away to Imai, who began a recount of their game, Ideguchi nearly slumped. It felt like without Tokuchi's gaze lingering on him he also lost some sort of physical support to keep himself up.

 

His heart was beating faster than it normally did.

 

 

––

 

 

After that incident Ideguchi tried going back to normal, he really did.

 

He tried blocking out the curious thoughts of his that tried to venture into Tokuchi's personal life, mostly by focusing more on training. It wasn't hard to block those thoughts during games, but as soon as the edge of a game's stress wore off, and he glimpsed their ace pitcher in a decidedly casual setting, his mind went wild. No longer were his thoughts bound only to _'I wonder who that lady was?'_ or _'why did he answer the phone?!'_ , but now his thoughts went down even less suitable routes, like _'how often does he do it?'_ and _'does he have preferences?'_

 

Does he like his partners shy or confident? Light-haired or dark-haired? Was he a boob guy or an ass guy? Did he even care for appearances? Maybe he was the kind of person to go to seedy places and pick whoever he came across. Or did he need to get to know a girl first?

 

It was slowly driving him up the wall, for he couldn't discuss these things with anyone else, which in turn had him stewing in these thoughts with no viable outlet. He had no doubt Tokuchi was probably suspicious of him, because, let's face it – this was Tokuchi. But he at least hoped to prolong the inevitable conversation that was lurking on the horizon, maybe try and not have his thoughts affect him as much as they were right now.

 

He just didn't expect Tokuchi to corner him about it as soon as he did. Only a fucking _week_ later.

 

"Captain, can you come here for a sec?"

 

Ideguchi felt like he was just handed his death sentence. So far he’d managed to avoid being left alone with Tokuchi. So far he’d gotten away scott free.

 

In hindsight he should've prepared himself for this better, should've left the meeting room as soon as possible with the others, made plans to go out drinking or something. Because now that he was looking at Tokuchi still sitting behind the table, waiting for him to move back into the meeting room, it dawned on the catcher how there was no desensitizing himself from the other. Because all it would take was one simple sentence from Ideguchi and Tou- Tokuchi would instantly know how to push all of his buttons just right to wring him dead dry.

 

Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think-

 

Ideguchi walked back into the room, keeping the door open in case he needed to-

 

"Ah, can you close the door, please, it's rather personal."

 

Shit.

 

Ok.

 

Ideguchi did as he was asked and then walked up to Tokuchi. He avoided going to the front of his desk to be scrutinized straight on, but instead carefully leaned on the table next to the pitcher's, standing upright to feel more in control.

 

Don’t call him Toua, don’t call him Toua, don’t-

 

"What's up, Tokuchi?"

 

Tokuchi had remained sitting and looked like he didn't mind the height difference, but he smoothly situated himself to face Ideguchi nonetheless. "You've been avoiding me."

 

Ideguchi was so startled by that he nearly yelled the next words, "I have not!" He definitely hadn't been avoiding Tokuchi… had he? From his point of view he hadn't interacted with the blond any more or less than before, so where on earth had he gotten that from? Unless…

 

Ideguchi's ears burned very suddenly when Tokuchi gave an amused smile. Shit, why did he not have a filter around this fucker?! Why did he always manage to hand all of his aces to him?!

 

"No, you haven't," Tokuchi acquiesced, still looking entertained. "Instead, there seems to be another problem. Would you like to tell me?"

 

Ideguchi faintly shook his head. This was too embarrassing to say out loud. How do you tell someone you've realized they have a sex life and now are curious about the details of it?

 

"Then let me take a guess."

 

His guess can't possibly be correct anyway, was Ideguchi's first thought.

 

His second was, _you can't underestimate Tokuchi_.

 

Still, either way, this was probably coming out anyway, and Ideguchi would rather it didn't come from his own mouth. Or maybe, if he was lucky, Tokuchi had it wrong for once. Maybe he didn't link his recent behaviour with the phone call those couple of weeks ago.

 

Tokuchi seemed to notice his answer and he sat up to walk closer to Ideguchi. But, the catcher realized very quickly, he didn't stop at a respectable distance. Ideguchi tensed up as Toua moved closer than was the norm and even though his sides were left open, he felt closed in, cornered. It was weird – Tokuchi wasn't any closer right now that they'd sometimes been on the mound, whispering plans back and forth, and yet… This was suffocating. He was being ripped open and left raw. He needed to push him away-

 

"You're attracted to me."

 

"Attracted to…" Ideguchi forced himself to stop, thinking over his own behaviour these last few weeks, wondering how the hell had Tokuchi gotten to this observation. But no matter how he turned the info over in his brain, he couldn't come up with a good enough reason for that assumption. "Where did you get that notion from?" He asked finally.

 

Tokuchi hummed, "From you. A human's body is very telling when it comes to attraction."

 

That can't be true. He definitely hadn't entertained these kinds of thoughts at all. No joke even.

 

Tokuchi seemed to realize something as he pulled back slightly, eyes contemplating. "You… haven't realized this until now? No, you're still not convinced. Curious… I wonder what's changed."

 

What cryptic bullshit was all this?! This seemed a lot like one of Tokuchi's schemes!

 

Ideguchi felt his hackles rising from the situation and he barely knew why. All he knew was that Toua didn't notice why he was acting out of place, and HE wasn't going to admit anything either. But if this was all Tokuchi had asked him here for…

 

"If you're quite done, I'm gonna go now," Ideguchi said, feeling restless and faintly irritated as he moved past the pitcher to leave the room, provoking no reaction from the other. "See you tomorrow Toua."

 

Ah.

 

 _That_ garnered a reaction and Ideguchi felt how his hand was suddenly grabbed from behind him, the grip tight. The catcher could feel heat explode in his ears, flowing over to his cheeks, and down his neck.

 

Why the fuck had he said that?! Why the fuck why the fuck why the fuck- Maybe he hadn't noticed? Maybe he just wanted to ask something about the upcoming game?

 

"So that's the reason."

 

 _Fuck me_ , Ideguchi moaned in his thoughts, mortified.

 

"Who would've thought one word from my bedpartner could turn your whole world upside down, Ideguchi," Tokuchi's voice carried over to the catcher, soft and nearly sultry in its tone. "But I can't say I'm disappointed."

 

Huh?

 

Ideguchi turned around to face Tokuchi then, heart beating in his ears, mouth dry. His mind was both empty and running on overdrive, no thought could take on any solidified form, even as he tried to decipher the pitcher's words. Had he heard right? How many different ways can you decipher that sentence? Is it possible Tokuchi was playing his mind games with him? Was he lucky enough to perhaps be asleep and dreaming right now?

 

"Ideguchi, you still don't seem to understand," Toua smiled, coming closer again. Ideguchi nearly stopped breathing and tried to snatch his hand away, but the pitcher's grip tightened that one instance, and he didn't try again. "You," Tokuchi eyed his own hand as the one not holding the catcher landed on where Ideguchi's lower ribs were situated, and then started ascending up, up, up over his clothed chest, to his shoulder, to the back of his neck- "are attracted to me."

 

Ideguchi felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end as cold and hot flashes collided in his body. Tokuchi's hand on his neck wasn't pushing, pulling, or even moving at all, just staying there, few of his fingers resting just behind his jaw, on his pulse, and providing him with more heat.

 

He felt… light-headed.

 

Was he attracted to Tokuchi? When had that happened? For that matter, when had Tokuchi noticed it? And why hadn't he himself noticed sooner? Why…

 

Tokuchi's eyes were really golden. Kind of like honey, except not as warm or as sweet. Like gold itself, maybe? Harsh, beautiful, elegant, deceitful…

 

Ideguchi blinked and jerked back suddenly, seeing he was leaning much closer to Tokuchi than before. Then, seeing the pitcher's raised eyebrow, he leaned in again, and gave one hesitant kiss on top of the other's lips.

 

He pulled back right after and saw Tokuchi blink in surprise at his hesitancy, before the look vanished and Ideguchi was guided back into another kiss.

 

It was much softer than what the catcher was used to regarding anything with the other. Tokuchi’s lips were gliding over his unhurriedly, sometimes pulling away just enough that their lips still touched, almost mouthing the air between them. It fogged Ideguchi’s brain and he chased after the pressure to relieve the squirming in the pit of his stomach, feeling himself following the other, going after those lips fervently. Tokuchi allowed that for just a moment, before pulling back just enough to lure the team captain towards him again, never deepening the kiss enough.

 

This cat and mouse game was nearly intoxicating and Ideguchi soon realized he couldn’t think of Tokuchi being anything else but like this in a sexual encounter – leading, guiding, playing with his bodily instincts to form it into the right stance, touching him just so to leave his body sufficiently malleable, but depriving him of contact enough to make him act up.

 

It was weirdly reminiscent of the time Tokuchi deceived him into getting a home steal.

 

That time he had felt exhilaratingly in control of the situation, whilst in reality he had been puppeteered by the pitcher; and this time was barely any different. It left a bad taste in his mouth at the time. This time… he wasn’t so sure of what he felt.

 

Ideguchi was about to pull back, was seconds away from calling this… thing off, because some sort of fear/concern/ _doubt_ had begun forming in his head, and then he felt Tokuchi pulling him closer, the hand at Ideguchi’s nape guiding him. The catcher nearly fell awkwardly in to the other’s lap, hands flying to the sides of the table Tokuchi was suddenly seated on.

 

Disorienting. When had Tokuchi guided them back enough to sit down on a table?

 

“I…” Ideguchi felt his heart hammer in his chest, blood rushing in his ears, no doubt colouring the entirety of his face red. Their usually almost non-existent height difference had suddenly grown exponentially, and the catcher had no choice but to crane his head to stare up at the blond’s dark gold eyes. He stared at the light dusting of pink on Tokuchi’s pale cheeks, his dilated pupils, and realized the other was offensively gorgeous, even looking like this.

 

He wondered how debauched he could make the younger man look.

 

Belatedly he saw how far his attraction towards the blond really went when that thought brought a heatwave right down to his dick. His kneejerk response was to try and pull away from Tokuchi, but the hold on the back of his neck tightened briefly, and Ideguchi didn’t try again. He swallowed thickly, throat feeling absolutely parched. “Tokuchi, this is the meeting room.” Reason. Logic. Tokuchi wouldn’t be able to fight against that.

 

The fingers on his nape tightened faintly again, the feeling running down his neck, down his spine, the touch almost innocently erotic. “I’m aware.”

 

Apparently not logical enough.

 

“Someone might come back,” was his next ammo.

 

“They might,” Tokuchi agreed, gently brushing his fingers against Ideguchi’s neck and jaw.

 

The brunet was silent, waiting for more, but it seemed like Tokuchi was done talking, because instead of pulling him back in he just craned his neck so, offering his neck, eyes following his every move. Ideguchi’s mouth filled with saliva and he could instantly imagine that pale throat sporting bruises made by him, running like a chain down to his chest, down his stomach, down, down…

 

He wasn’t aware when exactly, but he was then pushing upwards and mouthing, sucking on the skin, feeling the pulse underneath go up, which in turn made his arousal spike. _He_ was doing this, _he_ was making the normally calm and composed Tokuchi feel good, stimulated, like nothing else but risky situations in games seemed to.

 

A small hum left Tokuchi and Ideguchi felt it vibrating against his lips, running down his body and settling in his groin. His breath grew shallow and he felt a sudden need to adjust himself to relieve the pressure. He held it in for now.

 

The catcher bit the offered neck to him softly, elated to hear another hum, before Tokuchi’s grip on his nape tightened briefly. “Only if you’ll allow me to reciprocate in kind.” No further explanation.

 

Ideguchi paused, hesitation creeping in at that. A hickey on him? From Toua? That’s a bit…

 

Disturbing/hot/ _terrifying_

 

But then what had he just been about to do? It would be only fair to let the other do the same.

 

Ideguchi pulled back slightly, head clearing up rapidly, and stared at the younger man in front of him. “Tokuchi… that’s, I, I can’t- I won’t do this in here.”

 

Tokuchi’s face was blank before he let out a sigh, pushing back his catcher lightly and sliding off the table. “I figured you were the type.” Stating it like a fact.

 

Ideguchi felt shame and regret swallow him up near instantly, stomach feeling heavy and cold all of a sudden. Had he blown his chances to try and- and…?

 

He backtracked as quickly as possible, terrified he’d ruined everything, “I didn’t mean we needed to stop, I-“ Tokuchi was walking past him to the door. “-I just meant I’m not comfortable doing it here! I didn’t mean to offend, I’m sorry!” Why was he apologizing? This wasn’t his fault! “I really liked-“

 

His breath caught in his throat once he saw Tokuchi turn and give him a quick quirk of the lips. “Calm down, Ideguchi. Your fears are unfounded.”

 

Ideguchi just stayed silent, legs feeling shaky from the whiplash of emotions that went through him within the past few minutes.

 

“There’s a hotel nearby,” was all Tokuchi said before turning around and walking out of the room.

 

Ideguchi’s legs nearly gave out before he gathered himself and stumbled after the other as quickly as possible. He hadn’t fucked things up. He might still have a chance.

 

A chance?

 

Ideguchi’s breath shallowed as he followed Tokuchi to the man’s car waiting outside the building, mind going into overdrive. A chance for what? To have sex with his team mate? With Tokuchi?

 

A cold shiver ran down his back and his knees locked once as he walked. When had he just accepted this? When had he accepted he wanted to sleep with a man? So far he hadn’t even doubted his own sexuality before, so why was this happening right now? Why did he suddenly find himself so attracted to Tokuchi?

 

Ideguchi stopped right at the car’s passenger door, stomach twisting around nervously, absently noticing Tokuchi step into the driver’s seat and turning the machine on. Did he want this? Wasn’t this another one of Tokuchi’s mindgames? Like how he manipulated him into that play before? He’d never been attracted to another male before this, so this had to be another trick. Right?

 

Tokuchi lighted a cigarette and took a silent drag. “You’re having second thoughts.” He stated calmly.

 

“…Yes…” No reason to lie now.

 

“It’s a shame…” Tokuchi started and Ideguchi’s head snapped up to stare at him, feeling irritation start boiling in his veins at that (what right did Tokuchi have to use these kinds of words against him?! He was allowed to say **no** if he wanted-), “that society is so focused on only one kind of relationship. That people don’t even consider differing from the norm for fear of rejection. People like us – they hate us.”

 

Ideguchi’s ire flew out in a rush. “You, you’re…” he couldn’t finish that sentence. Couldn’t make it real.

 

Didn’t realize his question was stupid since he knew the answer already.

 

“Gay?” Tokuchi asked, and Ideguchi flinched momentarily. “No, I’m not. But I’m not heterosexual either. And neither are you.”

 

The previous outrage flew back in. “You can’t just decide what I am and what I’m not just like that! I mean, before today I’d never even… And for all I know this could be a trick you pulled me into!”

 

“Haa? A trick? Are you thinking clearly, Ideguchi?” Tokuchi asked as he gave the catcher a look that immediately made the brunet want to dig a hole for himself – he felt stupid in comparison with Toua again. “I haven’t tricked you into anything you didn’t want. I may do a lot of things but I can’t pull out something that doesn’t exist in the first place. And you, your attraction, does. You might not have been aware of it in the past, but it didn’t appear overnight. It’s always been there.”

 

That… sounded logical. More than logical actually. But if what Tokuchi said was true, then… How many crushes had he had for guys in the past and didn’t realize it himself?

 

Ideguchi felt slightly nauseas when his mind immediately supplied one person to him besides Tokuchi himself. Had he seriously not noticed his awe and respect for Kojima also be accompanied by the underlying attraction? It would certainly explain the rush of heat he felt whenever he saw Kojima bat a homerun, something that wasn’t there for others…

 

Most others…

 

Oh man.

 

Heat exploded in his cheeks at the same time the realization hit him.

 

“So, in or out, Ideguchi?” Tokuchi asked calmly, his cigarette dangling from his fingers lazily.

 

Knees locking once, twice, he haltingly reached for the car door, and way too soon he was sitting in the passenger seat, startled by his own decision. But Tokuchi was right – he was _indeed_ attracted to males as well. And right now he was sitting next to the one who made him realize it in the first place.

 

The night air felt cool against his warm cheeks, but it did nothing to brush away the lingering fear he felt in the pit of his stomach, twisting his guts into an ugly mess. Even as they were driving off and the scenery changed Ideguchi couldn’t focus on the passing buildings for long, feeling near nauseas because of the ball of stress in his belly. He’d never done anything like this with a guy. He’d never even _thought_ of a guy like this before. This whole night was a bit too…

 

Much.

 

“You alright there, Ideguchi?” Tokuchi’s voice flew over the air rushing past them, still soft and controlled.

 

In another time Ideguchi would’ve marvelled at Tokuchi’s consideration for him, but…

 

“Just… having a mid-life crisis over here. Don’t mind.”

 

Tokuchi laughed and the sound managed to land itself in Ideguchi’s stomach, gently easing up some of the pressure there. It was… nice. “I don’t usually say this, but…” Ideguchi finally turned to look at the blond, curious when he felt the man’s hand gently touch him on his thigh, “…you don’t need to overthink it. Take it at face value and you’ll feel a lot better.”

 

Some of the anxiety in him unfurled itself a bit more at those words. That was… good advice. He didn’t need to think too much about it right now after all. Just do what came naturally.

 

The ride continued silently for a bit after that as Ideguchi tried to meditate to expel the remaining piece of tension in his gut. But no matter how much he tried to instil Tokuchi’s words into his psyche, his body was still subconsciously apprehensive of the future. And for good reason – this was a completely new situation for him. It was only normal he was hesitant of the unknown.

 

“You’re still thinking,” Tokuchi said softly. His hand on Ideguchi’s thigh moved briefly.

 

Wait. His hand was _still_ on his thigh.

 

Uh.

 

“Tokuchi…” Ideguchi whispered, barely above the sound of the wind speeding past them. His mind was instantly bombarded by what could happen, and his stomach knotted itself into something like pleasure dipped origami.

 

He didn’t know if he imagined Tokuchi’s soft laughter or not, the wind was suddenly too loud in his ears (or was it the blood rushing in his veins?), but then the pitcher’s hand was inching closer to his crotch. Ideguchi felt his leg jolt briefly, but he didn’t move away, almost morbidly curious about what was about to happen.

 

“You can say no at any time and I’ll stop,” Tokuchi said, fingers reaching their destination with no objection from the brunet.

 

Ideguchi was biting his lips as the nervous flutter in his stomach intensified and managed to run straight down to his dick. He suddenly felt too young again, too ready to pop a stiffy at anything remotely exciting. And right now they were driving! Within a convertible! And anyone could see if they bothered to just glance a bit longer than a second!

 

Still, he didn’t say anything even as his zipper was undone and his cock was taken out. The cold air wasn’t nearly as nice against his skin now, but Tokuchi’s soft skin against his own certainly was, if not a little colder than he was used to. But, it felt strangely exotic, and finally Ideguchi stopped thinking as hard, trying to experience the situation instead.

 

As Tokuchi’s hand started moving, Ideguchi felt strange more than anything. It didn’t feel bad, but he wasn’t instantly up either. It was… slow. Both Tokuchi’s pace and his reaction to it were.

 

The catcher observed Tokuchi’s hand as it worked over him. It looked so pale, almost as white as paper against the dark of the night outside, contrasting beautifully against his own darker skin. And it felt soft, even if there were rougher patches on his fingers from throwing baseballs, but those just added to the sensation. Even Tokuchi’s naturally cold hands weren’t really turning him off.

 

And… his hand seemed like it was warming up, what with keeping such close contact with him, with giving off friction.

 

That hand slowly squeezed his dick and Ideguchi’s breath caught in his throat. The fingers were languidly kneading his glans, whole hand massaging him to full mast slowly but surely. It was as if he knew exactly what buttons to push. Had he done this before? Maybe… Probably…

 

Ideguchi felt a groan being knocked out of him as he was pumped deliriously slow, arousal beginning to coil hot and heavy in his belly now, mingling with the faint trace of anxiety still there. He opened his eyes (he had closed them?) and dragged them from the pale hand up to its owner in bleary coherence. The blond man, beautiful still, was staring at the road, cigarette dangling from his mouth. Then, not even hesitating to stop the handjob, he took his remaining hand off the wheel to flick the cigarette (Ideguchi felt his pulse spike at that, anxiety and fear for his life running down his body right to his dick, whispering: fight or flight, fight or flight), before putting it back in his mouth.

 

Tokuchi’s lips pulled into a smirk then, no doubt he’d felt that, but he put his hand back on the wheel, and Ideguchi relaxed his previously too tense muscles. He hadn’t even noticed being so high-strung right then.

 

“Fear and pleasure,” Tokuchi began, smile still evident on his lips, “they come from the same part of the brain. They’re both a certain kind of arousal and sometimes the body mixes them up, which is why we might feel sexually charged in dangerous situations. For example,” he left the wheel again to take a drag of his cigarette, and Ideguchi’s heart nearly stopped, a jolt running through his body (“H-hey!”), before Tokuchi lazily brought his hand back, “just now… your pulse went up and you felt adrenaline pump into your veins. Your body is in a state of sexual arousal, which easily allowed your body to misinterpret fear as part of that sexual arousal. It’s fascinating, don’t you think?”

 

There were shivers running down the catcher’s back, realizing the truth behind the pitcher’s words. Still… “Don’t do that,” Ideguchi said hoarsely, not sure if it was because of fear or pleasure. “If you do that again, I’ll fucking punch you.” His hands were gripping the sides of his seat near painfully. He felt sick from fear, or pleasure, or whatever.

 

Tokuchi chuckled lightly, but thankfully didn’t try anything else that was risky.

 

After that Ideguchi couldn’t stop the pleasure in his gut from roiling with every deliciously unhurried pump of the wrist. One pump, and Ideguchi gasped in a lungful of air. Another, and he had to squirm and lean against the door at his side, muffling small intakes of breath into his elbow. Also, this way he didn’t have to look and see his incoming death.

 

His arousal wasn’t rising slowly and steadily anymore, allowing him to take everything in at his own pace. No, now it was rising like a wave upon wave in the wake of an upcoming tsunami, drowning him, suffocating him.

 

Shit. He hadn’t felt arousal like this in… forever.

 

He was slowly sliding down in his seat, almost unconsciously trying to get a better position to stutter his hips up into Toua’s palm. Whereas he hadn’t minded the slow pace before, it was driving him up the wall now. It wasn’t nearly fast enough to allow him to climax, but the deft fingers pressed in all the right places to keep his mind lightheaded and distracted.

 

At some point he could feel something trickle down his chin and he realized he had been mouthing the other’s given name and drooling into his own arm. The knot in his stomach pulled tight at that revelation.

 

And then Tokuchi took his hand away. “We’re here, Ideguchi.”

 

Ideguchi wanted to strangle him. Too bad he was having too much trouble even stringing thoughts together to coordinate that level of movement right now. Instead, “Huh?”

 

The car had stopped in the parking lot of a rather familiar looking building, but fuck it if Ideguchi could remember it right now. Instead he was suddenly aware how cold it was and he quickly tugged himself back in his pants, shivering. He was still hard and it hurt like hell, but he wasn’t going to get himself off in a stationary convertible where anyone could walk by. It would be more preferable to finish it in the hotel now.

 

But…

 

“Tokuchi, can you… do you have some kind of jacket with you?” He won’t go through a hotel’s foyer holding his hands over his crotch like he’d just had an accident. His own shirt wasn’t long enough to cover his boner, and his jeans were just tight enough that it was obvious, especially with how hard he was.

 

Tokuchi hummed before getting out and taking a baseball jacket from the backseat to throw it at him. He threw the last of his cigarette away, looking like it had gone out by itself rather than have someone extinguish it.

 

Did cigarettes go out by themselves? Well, apparently they did.

 

Ideguchi quickly pulled the jacket over himself and was about to zip it up when he noticed something. “This… isn’t your jacket.” It was way too large for someone of Tokuchi’s build. In fact, it didn’t really smell like the younger male either. Where did he recognize this scent from?

 

“No. It’s Kojima’s.”

 

Ideguchi felt like his whole face was suddenly on fire. No way… “Why do you have Kojima’s jacket?”

 

Tokuchi’s lips pulled up faintly, “Same reason you’re here right now.” He turned around to walk up to the hotel, not even waiting to see if Ideguchi followed.

 

The catcher, on his part, quickly zipped up the jacket, scrambled out of the car and followed after the other, hearing the car lock itself behind him. He was still dazed, though, by the thought of Tokuchi and Kojima… together. When had that happened? And Kojima… was attracted to guys?

 

His dick gave an interested twitch when he tried imagining the two together, and he very nearly stumbled with his next step. _I REALLY wouldn’t mind trying this with Kojima maybe,_ he thought distractedly.

 

“If you’re a good boy in the next few games,” Tokuchi said softly once the shorter male caught up with him, “I might just mention this to Kojima. Do you think he’d enjoy three people?”

 

Ideguchi’s step faltered at that as one of his legs nearly gave out underneath him.

 

Holy shit! **Holy shit!**

 

Tokuchi was smirking again, no doubt reading Ideguchi’s complete and utter approval from his body language alone. Then he turned and walked up to the receptionist, and Ideguchi followed after, disoriented. He didn’t even really notice the exchange between the man behind the counter and Tokuchi – he was still in a deep daze. Both from the handjob and the news.

 

All too soon, but also not soon enough, they had a card for their room and were taking the lift up to the sixth floor. Finally Ideguchi started to sober up when it dawned on him that he was moments away from experiencing something completely new and out of the ordinary. Wait, how did the logistics of gay sex even go? It couldn’t possibly be as simple as ‘insert tab A into slot B’. And **WHOSE** slot B anyway?! Shit, fuck, maybe this was too soon. Maybe he should’ve just offered a mutual handjob at the meeting room and left it at that.

 

Now that Tokuchi had gotten them an actual hotelroom for their activities, Ideguchi felt like he couldn’t flake this, nor leave things half-assed. Tokuchi put so much effort into him and even agreed to changing locations on his behalf. He had been so strangely forthcoming with him it would make Ideguchi feel like a jerk if he ditched him now.

 

The two got to their room and Ideguchi’s heart sped up to start beating in his throat. This was bad – the last time he’d been this nervous was in the game against the Blue Mars when Tokuchi had been the target of all of those dirty tricks. He had constantly been afraid the younger man would be out of commission whenever someone either crashed into him, or pitched a dead ball on his at bat.

 

How appropriate that Tokuchi was again the source for his nervousness.

 

He heard Tokuchi say something and Ideguchi shook his head to get rid of the haze of doubt and fear in his mind. “I’m sorry, what did you say, Tokuchi?”

 

Said male was silent for a moment, before he simply asked, “Drinks?”

 

The brunet was pretty sure that hadn’t been what the blond had said the first time around, but the prospect of drinks lifted some of the weight in his stomach. “Yes, please,” he breathed as he went and took a seat at a small table in the room – he was afraid his legs would give out soon.

 

A moment later Tokuchi had procured a bottle of beer for him from a mini-bar. Ideguchi didn’t even care that it tasted like shit, he was just glad to concentrate on something other than the elephant in the room. Thankfully Tokuchi just quietly went to the window a few paces away from the table and opened it to start another cigarette.

 

 _He always looks so calm_ , Ideguchi thought, taking a swig of the bottle. He was still hard in his jeans, but the earlier rush had left him and his thoughts were running rampant again, making him hesitate. This wasn’t any of Tokuchi’s tricks, he realized that now, but the prospect of what would happen was sort of making him doubt he could go through with everything. And he had little actual knowledge of how gay sex worked, so maybe it’d be best if he saved himself the embarrassment.

 

However…

 

Kojima had done it.

 

“Tokuchi,” he waited until the golden eyes flew over to him again, “When did you notice I was attracted to you?”

 

Tokuchi blew out a wisp of smoke, as he seemed to mull over it gently. “About two weeks into my inclusion to the team.”

 

“Two weeks?!” Ideguchi bristled. “Oi, oi, Tokuchi, back then I didn’t even know I was attracted to guys, so how in the hell could _you_ possibly know?! And besides, your personality is quite awful, so why would- why would I be attracted to you?”

 

Tokuchi didn’t even look fazed by his outburst, taking a long drag from his cigarette. “You being attracted to me, and my _awful_ personality, don’t need to correlate. You found me physically attractive, even if you didn’t want to – it’s as simple as that. As for how I knew it…” Tokuchi snubbed out the cigarette and threw it away, turning to pull back the seat opposite of the catcher and silently sitting in place. He leaned on his palm as he studied his companion mildly. “The way you held yourself near me, the way you sought out my companionship more than the other pitchers, the way you stared at me, laughed near me… there were a lot of other indicators, small ones, but these are the most telling when a person is attracted to another.”

 

Ideguchi felt his neck crawl uncomfortably as he kept Tokuchi’s gaze, which is why he looked down at the beer in his hands, idly playing with it. “You didn’t mention it, though…”

 

“I don’t pursue dead ends. Back then you wouldn’t have even entertained being with a man because of your narrow worldview. Now though…”

 

 _Now I gave him an opening,_ Ideguchi realized faintly. It was all because he had had the time to ponder over Tokuchi’s personal life and let it sink in what it meant to be with someone like him. But even then Tokuchi hadn’t spoken up until he’d misspoken the other’s name. Was it possible the pitcher hadn’t known until then?

 

“Did you figure out when I began to realize, uh, it?” He glanced at the other, quickly taking a swig from his bottle. It wasn’t nearly strong enough to help his nerves, but it was a distraction nonetheless.

 

“Hmm… I speculated something, and your behaviour gave me plenty of hints, but… I wasn’t a hundred percent sure until tonight.” Tokuchi looked so at ease, like this was something completely normal to him. Maybe it was. Maybe he regularly just picked someone up from the team and fucked them.

 

Shit. How many people from the team had he been with?

 

“Why are you so… ready to…” _to wait me out, to take this further still, to fuck me._

 

“Because I find you attractive is the base answer. And I’m not a patient man by any means, as you know, but you’re exceeding my expectations so far, which is why I’m not bored yet.”

 

That… was nice to hear. He’d been thinking he was more trouble than simple fucking was worth.

 

“All right, just, let’s just do this.” _Before I lose my nerve completely_ , Ideguchi thought as he put the half-empty bottle away. “I just… do we have condoms?” Correction: _do you have condoms, because I did not have the **foresight** of bringing them to our team meeting._

 

“I have what we might need,” Tokuchi said, amused by Ideguchi’s sudden enthusiasm. He stood up from his side of the table and swiftly side-stepped to the catcher, pushing gently on his shoulders when he sat to face him, wanting to stand up as well. “But first, relax.” The younger man gently took a seat on Ideguchi’s lap, sideways, settling his hand on the brunet’s jaw.

 

Ideguchi felt his dick give a barely felt jolt at the warmth of the pitcher. This felt… nice.

 

He leaned in to peck Tokuchi on the mouth once, then gave a small open-mouthed kiss, and then his pitcher didn’t let him pull back anymore, hand on his jaw tight as he turned those kisses slow and languid. Not that Ideguchi minded much – it felt flattering that he could make Tokuchi _want_ to kiss him.

 

And those kisses were distracting. Tokuchi didn’t pull back like he had earlier, didn’t leave him hanging, but he didn’t deepen the kiss too much either, just content with slowly mouthing at the other’s lips. And no matter how much Ideguchi laved at his lips, or indicated to deepen the kiss, Tokuchi wouldn’t budge on that front. It frustrated the catcher, so out of pettiness he gave short sharp nips to the other, hoping he could catch him off guard.

 

It had the opposite effect instead. Tokuchi smirked against his lips, before he pulled off and, oh, there was a hand at his hair, guiding his head back, and then Tokuchi’s mouth was at his jaw. Ideguchi’s breath hitched and he nearly bucked up because of a sudden flash of arousal. Tokuchi’s teeth were grazing his skin in a way that was sending flashes of fear through him, heartbeat speeding up from what he knew the pitcher was capable of as a person. He was good at bringing people down emotionally, so it’d stand to say he could also do that physically. He was probably knowledgeable about the human body enough to kill someone without the use of a weapon. Still, so far he’d been going soft and slow-

 

Suddenly there were teeth sinking in to his neck and Ideguchi actually keened, bucking up involuntarily. Tokuchi pulled back just as abruptly, smirking at his catcher from underneath his lashes.

 

Fuck, he had pretty eyes though.

 

Tokuchi lifted off of him, slightly pulling at the jacket Ideguchi was wearing as he did so to make the brunet follow him. Silently the pitcher turned and moved to the bed in the other room, Ideguchi following after him in a daze, noticing absently how Kojima’s jacket was already unzipped. When had Tokuchi…?

 

The younger male went and sat at the edge of the bed, crossing his legs and leaning back on his hand, waiting for his catcher to make the next move, who had stopped just short of the other.

 

But, uhh… what _was_ the next step?

 

“We can do whatever you want,” Tokuchi drawled. “You can take this time to experiment with something new, since these kinds of chances are few and far in-between if you don’t know how to find them. I’m open to anything – within reason, of course.”

 

“Within reason…” Ideguchi repeated slowly, unsure what that might entail.

 

Tokuchi clarified, “There’s not a lot I won’t be willing to do, and even then I might be persuaded, so you have no fear. But first…” His fingers flicked at the hem of Kojima’s jacket, a good indication he wanted him to undress.

 

Ideguchi shed out of Kojima’s jacket with little to no hesitation. The next article of clothing was his own shirt, though, which he picked at for a couple of seconds, heart in his throat, before that too was discarded. After that, however, he just approached Tokuchi to help him out of his clothes, not quite willing to be the only one naked.

 

He looked down at his partner, slightly terrified where this was going, and brought his hands to Tokuchi’s buttons. His hands shook just barely as he unbuttoned the white dress shirt, aware he was being assessed – Tokuchi probably could read his every internal doubt and fear.

 

He got the buttons undone, stumbling over them only twice ( _good job, Ideguchi!_ ), and then he slid the garment off of Tokuchi’s shoulders, eyes taking in every inch of skin he could. It wasn’t that he hadn’t seen Tokuchi nude before, but now, in this context, it was something else entirely. Somehow, these bony shoulders and nearly sickly white skin were making his mouth fill with saliva, something that had never happened regarding the blond before. He tried to swallow discreetly, but he had no doubt Tokuchi noticed even that minute detail.

 

“So,” Ideguchi began, to direct Tokuchi’s attention elsewhere more than anything – he was starting to feel self-conscious, “I can try anything I want?”

 

Tokuchi inclined his head in an affirmative.

 

A scenario ran through Ideguchi’s head and he felt his cheeks flush. “Does that- Can I-“ _fuck you?_

 

Tokuchi’s mouth quirked upwards, “Of course. Is that all?” Isn’t there anything else you would like to try?, hung in the air, unsaid.

 

Another scenario jumped through Ideguchi’s brain and he hesitated for a moment, before he fell on his knees in front of the younger male. “Then… may I try this?” He might never get this chance ever again – better not have any regrets.

 

“Hmm…” Tokuchi hummed lightly, “All right. I’ll walk you through it, since you have no experience on that end of it.” He took one of Ideguchi’s hands and led it to his jeans, letting go then, not babying the catcher.

 

Ideguchi took a deep breath before he went and opened the button. Oh man, oh man, oh man, he was really doing this, it wasn’t some kind of a weird hallucination, he was really going to blow a guy. He was really going to blow Tou-

 

_Don’t think about it!_

 

He unzipped the zipper next and then, once again, hesitated, hands wavering.

 

“Here, let me help,” Tokuchi said calmly and stood up to push his pants down.

 

Ideguchi instinctively looked away, _very_ aware of how Tokuchi was undressing his last articles of clothing in front of him. Once Tokuchi was sitting on the edge of the bed again, waiting, Ideguchi exhaled deeply, before turning to face his pitcher again, carefully avoiding looking down. The blond’s hand took hold of his face then and for a brief moment panic flew through his veins. The hand, however, didn’t move and he gradually calmed down again. And _then_ the hand guided his face to look downwards.

 

It was a dick. What had he been expecting?

 

Somehow it didn’t feel nearly as terrifying anymore, and even if he’d never touched another man’s half-hard dick, he wasn’t put off when he finally did. It was pink and probably about the same length as his own, maybe a bit longer even. He gave it an experimental squeeze, feeling the pulse beating underneath the thin skin.

 

Oh wow, if nothing else drove the fact home that Tokuchi was human, this sure did.

 

“Good,” Tokuchi’s voice carried over from above, “Now, do what comes natural. I’m sure you can figure out the ropes as you go. I’ll correct your form if there’s anything wrong.”

 

 _I thought you were going to walk me through this_ , Ideguchi thought inanely, but exhaled slowly, and tried to remember all the best blowjobs he’d ever received in his life. Though, no matter how much he tried to recall those memories, he couldn’t remember much else except hot/wet/tight/ _good._

“You’re thinking too much. Sex isn’t about thinking.”

 

Ideguchi huffed lightly at Tokuchi’s admonishment, but cleared his head anyway, and decided to just plunge into the unknown.

 

His kiss brushed against the side of the dick, feeling the pulse against his lips this time. Nothing weird happened, no end of the world, nor was Tokuchi reprimanding him for a horrible job, so Ideguchi just let the kiss linger, before giving soft open-mouthed kisses.

 

The taste wasn’t anything to write home about, just like skin normally tasted, but it was clean, so there was that. It was maybe a bit heavier than skin normally tasted, though it wasn’t bad enough to stop. For now.

 

He licked up the side of the dick and laved at the head for a second, the taste even more prominent there. Then, he finally opened his mouth to take just a bit of the cock in, his ears burning from what he was doing – he was giving another guy a blowjob. If someone would’ve told him that a day ago he would’ve probably punched them.

 

He heard a soft sigh from above and Ideguchi felt his thighs vibrate as shivers ran down his body. The sound of Tokuchi’s sigh left him nearly reeling, and he quickly took in more of the dick, anticipating to hear more. In his hurry, though, he got too eager and choked, eyes immediately filling up with involuntary tears. Instantly Tokuchi’s hand gripped at his hair hard and pulled him up and off the dick, maintaining steady eye contact with the brunet, who was trying to hold his own through the tears in his eyes. “You don’t know how to take all of it yet, so don’t bother. Just use your hands on anything you can’t reach.”

 

Ideguchi felt his face burn in embarrassment at the lecture, but acquiesced without a word, being more careful now when he took the dick in his mouth again. He squeezed his hand on the bottom of the dick and jerked it upwards, as he tried to slowly take in more than the head. This time it went more smoothly and, even though Tokuchi didn’t make any noises right then, the dick in his mouth was growing harder and pulsing against his tongue heavily.

 

The brunet bobbed his head a bit, before he pulled back enough that only the head was still in his mouth as he tried to suck on it. _Now_ he finally heard another soft sigh come from the younger male. Ideguchi tried not to let it get to him this time, but he still found himself trying to take in more, to suck more, to jerk his hand faster. It was as if those small sounds were praises without real words, urging him on.

 

It felt intoxicating to have even this much control over Tokuchi Toua, when barely anything fazed him off the diamond. Could he make him moan, though, was the question.

 

At that thought Ideguchi felt a shiver run down his spine, ending up tightening his pants near uncomfortably. Well, he sure as hell was going to try.

 

He swirled his tongue over the head, before sucking his way down. He came back up and began bobbing his head, trying to take in more with every downwards dive. _Surely_ he could get his gag reflex to adapt to finally take in all of it.

 

Abruptly it occurred to him how the hand he was holding Tokuchi with was soaked with his own saliva and his ears burned from shame. It was embarrassing how he couldn’t give a perfect blowjob off the bat, even though he knew that thought was ridiculous in and of itself. It was just that he kept remembering how all of the blowjobs he’d gotten had never been so wet or awkward. At least the girls from his memories hadn’t drooled on his dick uncontrollably. Unlike how he was right now.

 

“Ideguchi,” Tokuchi said, voice sounding faraway because of the blood rushing in his ears. “Lean downwards with your body and hold your head angled upwards.” The pitcher’s hand was pushing at his head as he said that, directing his body to lean down and look up at Tokuchi’s crotch, rather than lean over it like he had before.

 

“Good boy,” Tokuchi said, smiling, and Ideguchi was sure his heart was suddenly pounding harder than it had ever before. “This position makes it easier for you to deep-throat, should you want to.” He pulled at Ideguchi’s hair softly to give him the idea to try it out.

 

The catcher leaned towards Tokuchi’s dick again and took it in his mouth, sucking a few times, before trying to go down on it. Tokuchi had of course been right though, it _was_ easier to take him in this way.

 

_Huh, wonder why…_

 

“It’s because your throat and your mouth are aligned in a straight line. It’s easier to avoid your gag reflex this way.” Was it just the lighting or were Tokuchi’s eyes gleaming? “Another good position is to lay on the bed, either on your stomach or your back, arching your neck.”

 

Ideguchi hummed slightly at that, forgetting he was in the middle of a blowjob just then, only thinking how Tokuchi always gave good advice. He was brought back into the present near immediately when he realized the hand on his head had tensed up briefly when he did that.

 

Oh.

 

_Oh right!_

Ideguchi took the cock in as far as it could go without gagging, let it rest against his tongue for a while to get used to the intrusion, before managing to bottom out, surprising himself even. His lips reached the end of the dick and his nose was brushing against dark trimmed hair. Ahh… Tokuchi’s hair colour wasn’t natural…

 

It was hard to breathe with something like this down his throat ( _how do girls manage this?_ ), but after a couple of long moments to get used to it he could cope well enough without fearing he was going to either die of suffocation or trigger his gag reflex and vomit. He found it was easier if he could relax his throat, instead of tensing it.

 

He moaned around the dick, letting the vibrations help along in his blowjob. Once again his cheeks flushed because of the embarrassment of doing something this lewd, of _moaning_ while giving a _blowjob_ to a guy, but it all quickly washed away when Tokuchi let out a soft groan. It rang through Ideguchi’s body, leaving him shaking when it ran down to his dick, and he had to adjust his pants, unzipping them, to calm down again.

 

“That’s nice, Ideguchi,” Tokuchi sighed out and Ideguchi raised his eyes up to see the blond staring at him from underneath his lashes, smiling leisurely, the hand on his head petting his hair lazily. His gaze felt hot and heavy on him, seeming to drag over every inch of him. Quite abruptly this brought a wave of heat over the catcher and he nearly whimpered at the feeling of his balls tightening against his body.

 

His cock was straining against his pants with a newfound arousal, but he closed his eyes to focus on his task. His tongue was flat against the dick and his mouth was filled with too much saliva, so he tried to swallow, feeling how uncomfortable it was with something down his throat.

 

Tokuchi sighed appreciatively again and Ideguchi squirmed at his spot, stomach knotting horribly. He pulled back to lick and suck at the side of the dick lightly, giving his aching jaw a small rest. He brushed his lips firmly against it as he dragged them to the tip and sucked at the head. His thumb rubbed and massaged the bottom of the dick, briefly handling the testicles with the rest of his fingers, before he brought it all up to pump a few times.

 

After that brief rest he took the dick in his mouth to try and deep throat again, and this time it went more smoothly than it had the first time. In no time at all his nose was brushing against Tokuchi’s crotch again. It was good that it was easier now since he wanted to try bobbing his head anyway.

 

He pulled back very slightly and then pushed down again, feeling himself drooling even more than before, as the dick got wetter and he had to try and swallow again. Once there was slightly less fluid in his mouth he pulled off of it, before taking it in again, and continued with that, trying to do it faster each time.

 

Quite a few times he was afraid he was going to gag, but luckily he at least didn’t hit his gag reflex head on.

 

One of his hands that was resting on Tokuchi’s thigh squeezed at the leg there, aware how the blond’s muscles were tightening and relaxing sporadically.

 

Oh wow, he was actually getting to Toua.

 

“Ideguchi…” Tokuchi’s voice sounded a bit breathier than normal, though still in control. ( _This isn’t fair_ , the catcher thought _, I can never be as put together when I’m receiving a blowjob. Maybe I’m not good enough?_ ) “You’re doing so well, Ideguchi. Good boy.”

 

His cock twitched from the praise and he suddenly found himself breathless – he never thought he’d be this affected by something so simple. Then again, getting praises from Tokuchi was a rarity. Ideguchi stopped the audible whimper that was coming up from deep within him, but the vibrations of it still seemed to reach Tokuchi, from the way his hand tightened briefly in the catcher’s hair.

 

He bobbed his head enthusiastically, aware that the soft sighs Tokuchi was giving were happening more frequently. Was it possible he could get Tokuchi off like this?

 

“Ideguchi,” Tokuchi’s hand gripped at his hair a bit more firmly, but didn’t stop him, “If you need to know when your partner is about to come, hold your hand on their testicles – you’ll know when they’re about to orgasm.” Then, before Ideguchi could try that advice out, Tokuchi pulled at his hair slightly to signal for him to come off his dick. “But let’s stop for now, shall we?”

 

Ideguchi came off of the dick and wiped at his mouth, confused, “Why? What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing. I’m just certain you’re not ready to make the decision of whether to spit or swallow yet,” Tokuchi said calmly, not at all bothered by the interrupted blowjob.

 

Warmth bloomed on the shorter man’s cheeks, and he felt a little offended even right then. What did Tokuchi mean by him not being ready to make a choice whether to… to… “Hey, let me try at least! I’m sure I can do it!” He knew he was injecting himself with false bravado, but his pride wouldn’t let him just leave Tokuchi unsatisfied, nor could he let that slight on his ego go. Besides, once it came down to it, he was sure he would very well choose to spit, rather than swallow.

 

Tokuchi hummed slightly, clearly unconvinced, but acquiesced, “All right. But I won’t warn you. See if you can figure everything out by yourself.”

 

Ideguchi didn’t waste any time and quickly took Tokuchi in his mouth again. To be honest he was doing this because he wanted to see Tokuchi lose control more than anything else, but to prove him wrong would be another plus. So that’s why he instantly bottomed out, hands caressing the faux blond’s testicles.

 

He bobbed his head, trying to suck, all the while searching for little signs that Tokuchi was feeling good. They were few and subtle, but they were there. And each one managed to make his heart swell with pride that he could do this to the other, could give him pleasure like this.

 

His cock was throbbing in his pants, very neglected since he first stepped into the hotel room, but he figured he could wait a bit more to take care of Tokuchi first. That said, Tokuchi’s testicles were tightening up.

 

When Ideguchi opened his eyes to look up at the younger man he saw Tokuchi’s eyes closed, his eyebrows creasing slightly. It was a surreal scene to see in a way – Tokuchi’s calm façade was no longer relaxed and his muscles were tensing up in a way rarely seen outside of a baseball match. He looked almost ethereal right then with sweat glistening on his pink cheeks.

 

Ideguchi pulled back from the cock enough to leave the head sitting on his tongue, still dazed from the scene in front of him, before he was pulled back into the present when he felt the dick in his mouth twitch and pulse, filling his mouth with a salty substance. He quickly pulled off of the dick then, shocked into sitting there, unable to realize what he needed to do next. There wasn’t much of it in his mouth, and yet it felt like it had filled his entire mouth with the way he could feel something trickle down the back of his throat. He hoped it was just his own saliva.

 

Oh fuck.

 

He knew it would happen and _still_ he’d been surprised.

 

There was a tissue in front of him and, belatedly, Ideguchi took it to spit into it, before discarding it in a trashcan that was sitting in the corner of the room. His legs were shaking when he walked back to the faux blond.

 

He glanced at the pitcher then, who seemed to be amused by his reactions, and growled, “Shut it.”

 

The smile widened. “I didn’t say anything.”

 

“Well yeah, but you were thinking it,” Ideguchi grumbled, clearly not pleased by his own reactions. He went to the bed and lay down next to the sitting Tokuchi, glaring at the amused smile.

 

“At least you’re experienced enough to know what to do next time,” Tokuchi teased. What a fucker.

 

The catcher groaned, hiding his face in the crook of his elbow, embarrassed by the way he had frozen up when he said he wouldn’t. Well, that was a nice hit to his ego.

 

There was a hand on his thigh then and Ideguchi tensed up, _very_ aware of his near painful arousal – he’d neglected it for too long. He lifted his arm to briefly glance at the other, staring as the other dragged his fingers up towards his crotch. And then, with barely any heads up, he cupped the catcher firmly through the jeans. Ideguchi gasped loudly and arched up towards Tokuchi to stop his hand, thighs quivering, “P-lease, don’-t!” _I’m going to come right on the spot,_ he thought deliriously.

 

Tokuchi’s amused smile grew into a sly smirk, but thankfully he lifted his hand off his crotch. Instead he pulled at the jeans briefly. “Take these off,” he murmured.

 

Ideguchi took in a few deep breaths to calm himself back down, before complying and pushing his jeans and underwear off in one motion. He was far past feeling self-conscious right now, but even so a slight discomfort settled in him – he wasn’t sure what was going to happen next.

 

“Do you want to fuck me?” Tokuchi asked, not even batting an eye as he said that.

 

Ideguchi felt the air being punched out of him along with his answer, “Yeah… sure.”

 

“Ah, good,” Tokuchi sighed in short relief, “I was thinking you might’ve changed your mind.” He got up and took something out from his jeans’ pockets.

 

Condoms. And lubricant.

 

Ideguchi paled. Okay, _now_ he was having second thoughts again.

 

Tokuchi handed him the items and took a seat leisurely in the middle of the bed, waiting patiently. Ideguchi blinked owlishly at the other. “I… uhh…” can’t back out now. “Is there, uh, anywhere you don’t want me to go?”

 

“Is there anywhere you’re afraid to go, Ideguchi?” Tokuchi countered.

 

The catcher fell silent at that. _Fucking everywhere,_ he thought.

 

Tokuchi sighed in short disappointment before laying down against the pillows leisurely. With a finger he beckoned Ideguchi over to him, who heeded the call instinctively, crawling over to the younger male in a daze.

 

Once he got the lubricant open he let one of his lubed fingers reach Tokuchi’s hole and pushed in. It felt tighter than he was used to, with girls, but he went on, trying to make the opening smoother, slicker. In that front it wasn’t that much different from a girl, so he tried to concentrate on loosening it slowly, soon letting two of his fingers in the hole.

 

His fingers kept pushing into Tokuchi, feeling the tight heat, and the brunet flushed down to his chest when he realized that his cock was going to be inside the other only minutes after. A shudder ran down his spine and he reapplied more lube on his fingers, before continuing his task. He did this some more for a few moments, before he pulled out and wiped his hand on the duvet.

 

Okay, no turning back now.

 

He exhaled shakily and took his cock to place the condom on it. He was no longer as hard as he’d been before, nerves and overthinking having cooled his body down a lot. Nonetheless he led it to Tokuchi’s hole, deciding to just go for it, before he lost his nerve completely.

 

The first thing he realized was that the squeeze was incredible! Then, once he got that, he slowly pushed in all the way, making sure to let his pitcher get used to it before moving forward. The heat was pooling in the pit of his stomach again.

 

“You okay?” Tokuchi asked, and Ideguchi would feel miffed that he sounded so nonchalant if it weren’t for the fact that he was trying to think through the haze of pleasure again.

 

“…’m fine,” he muttered.

 

“Good,” Tokuchi murmured, before winding an arm around the other’s neck, pulling him down, “You’re very attractive like this, do you realize?”

 

A flash of heat swept over his body, from head to toe, and Ideguchi looked away, unable to take Tokuchi’s intense stare. Then the pitcher’s hands guided him down for a kiss and thankfully some of the tension left Ideguchi.

 

The kisses were slow and steady, anchoring his frenzied mind and managing to calm him down. Tokuchi was calmly petting his lips with his own, never really deepening the kiss, and Ideguchi’s brain finally began formulating a hypothesis that the other disliked French kisses. It would explain why he never went along with Ideguchi’s body language, or just plain stopped the kisses altogether whenever the catcher tried to deepen them.

 

Curious.

 

He felt Tokuchi’s leg run up against his slowly, before tightening and pushing against his bottom, rolling his hips. It’s enough to make Ideguchi’s hips stutter, before he got the message, and pulled back to start a shallow series of thrusts to gently ease them both into this.

 

At some point his thrusts gained speed and with Tokuchi’s careful guiding he was soon hearing soft breathy moans leave the blond’s mouth. It’s more because the other managed to show him where to aim, rather than any of his own skills, but it still made him flush happily that he could wrench those noises from the pitcher.

 

And then his mind started to slowly cloud over again. He’d been hard for the better part of the night, so it was inevitable that he would be on the edge this soon when he’d hardly even started. It didn’t particularly help that Tokuchi kept murmuring nice praises to him that managed to double the heat in his belly, making his arms feel like jelly as they tried holding his weight up.

 

At some point he realized he was groaning into Tokuchi’s shoulder, hands grabbing hold of the other’s hips in a grip that should’ve been painful, but the blond just helped the rhythm along, never complaining, just breathing heavily. It was sort of a surprise when he noticed that his own moans were louder than his bedpartner’s, since he’d been used to girls who moaned at the slightest move he made.

 

Looking back it was painfully obvious they’d been exaggerating.

 

“…’guchi,” Tokuchi said breathlessly and Ideguchi had to almost drag himself back to the present, heart jumping when he wondered if Tokuchi had _really_ just nicknamed him, or if he just didn’t hear the first part. He liked to think it was the first option.

 

Whatever Tokuchi was going to say next didn’t make it out that instant, since the blond seemed to realize something and then he tightened around Ideguchi. The brunet’s hips stuttered, shivering from the effort of keeping himself from coming, before Tokuchi pulled his head down again to whisper, “How gorgeous you are like this, ‘guchi…”

 

It’s really this that sends the catcher over the edge and Ideguchi lets out a surprised yelp, spending himself in the condom, coming hard and quick like he hadn’t in a long while. Tokuchi let him ride out his orgasm, before letting him back up again, eyes glinting in barely concealed amusement.

 

Ideguchi couldn’t even bring himself to feel embarrassed anymore, mind blissfully empty and body feeling incredibly relaxed for once. Then he remembered to look down and saw that Tokuchi hadn’t come.

 

Fuck.

 

Okay.

 

“Do you want me to…” _blow you? Again?_

He couldn’t finish that sentence. He just hoped the pitcher would understand. When Tokuchi just shook his head gently, still looking too amused for the situation, Ideguchi’s mind blanked again. What was he supposed to do now then?

 

“Ideguchi,” the man finally said, when Ideguchi still looked helpless.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I want to fuck you.”

 

That was simultaneously the most flattering and most terrifying thing Ideguchi had heard Tokuchi ever say.

 

“Uhm, sure, lemme just…” he took off the condom, tied it and disposed of it in the garbage can from earlier. That garbage can was seeing a lot of sexual fluids tonight. It was probably going to see some more from the looks of things.

 

He went back to the bed, sitting down on it. In truth he wasn’t too sure he could get it back up again so soon, so he wondered what he could do to the blond until then.

 

Tokuchi motioned for Ideguchi to take his spot, before asking, “Do you have any preference for a position?”

 

Oh like missionary, or…?

 

“I’d rather be on my stomach, I guess,” he said. He didn’t really want to look the other in the eyes when they did that. Giving was one thing, but receiving seemed a bit too… intimate for that kind of thing. “Though I’m gonna need a bit more time to recover. I’m not as young as you are.” He nonetheless took Tokuchi’s spot, but refused to lay down just yet.

 

“Admitting your old man status?” Tokuchi smiled. “I’ll be sure to take it easy on you then.”

 

Ideguchi huffed at that, “Don’t let it get to your head, punk.” He couldn’t help a small smile from forming on his face, though. For some reason Tokuchi knew all the right words to say so he wouldn’t feel either too pressured or too lax. He knew it was possible, what with seeing it happening in games almost weekly, but it still threw him off kilter quite a bit when it was used against him.

 

Tokuchi leaned in and Ideguchi went to meet him, before he remembered something. “Hey, uh, Tokuchi?” he placed a hand gently against Tokuchi’s chest, keeping him away for a moment.

 

The other complied quickly. “Hm?”

 

“Why don’t you like French kisses?”

 

Tokuchi blinked, before smiling. “There’s no real complicated answer – I dislike the feeling of it, so I’d rather not.”

 

Ideguchi mulled over this for a bit, his first time hearing someone actually disliking this form of kissing. It wasn’t too outlandish in theory, but hearing and seeing it in practice was a bit…

 

“Okay, I’ll keep it in mind,” he said, before leaning in to peck Tokuchi on the mouth and pulling back just as quickly. He grinned at the blank look on the pitcher’s face, aware that he’d caught the other off guard again. He liked doing that. Tokuchi looked cute like that.

 

Tokuchi leaned down and kissed his grin away. Ideguchi didn’t wait long to kiss him back. He didn’t mind the fact that he couldn’t deepen the kiss anymore, knowing the reason behind it, so he just enjoyed the kisses for what they were.

 

Tokuchi trailed down, leaving a few kisses on Ideguchi’s neck. His hands trailed softly over the other’s thighs and hips, and Ideguchi’s breath hitched in his throat, stomach quivering. At some point Tokuchi motioned for Ideguchi to get on his belly and he did, head a bit too heavy to realize what he was doing until he was already in position.

 

“Hey, wait-“ he started then, heart suddenly in his throat. He started to push up, when he felt a hand on his lower back.

 

“Not yet,” Tokuchi said, “Don’t worry. Just… a precursor.”

 

Ideguchi relaxed his muscles slightly, but was nowhere near as slack as he knew he had to be for this. He felt Tokuchi’s hand, the one on his lower back, slide down even more, over his ass, to his thighs. He cupped his upper thigh, fingers smoothing between his two legs, shifting more, before Ideguchi felt them at his hole.

 

He tensed.

 

“Relax,” Tokuchi murmured, before Ideguchi felt two hands down there and before long there was something hot against his hole. His breath hitched and he tensed up even further when he realized it had been Tokuchi’s tongue.

 

“Umm...” he tried dumbly.

 

Tokuchi didn’t answer this time and just gripped Ideguchi’s cheeks a bit tighter and pressed his tongue against the hole.

 

Ideguchi’s breath hitched and his first instinct was to try and crawl away, but Tokuchi had apparently foreseen that, since his hands tightened and didn’t let him move away. And that was even worse for Ideguchi, who felt his whole face flame red in mortification. “You don’-t have to do that,” he muffled into a pillow, wishing he could choke himself on it.

 

There was no reply as Tokuchi just continued licking at his hole languidly.

 

Ideguchi shuddered when he felt the tongue breach him, suddenly very _very_ glad he’d taken a shower after baseball practice.

 

This was something he had never tried with a bedpartner before. It felt… weird.

 

Ideguchi made a short half-noise, when he felt Tokuchi lay his tongue flat against him, before using a bit more force, breaching him more slowly. A shiver ran all the way up his back, even more mortified to realise his body was slowly beginning to accept the weird feelings by relaxing around the intrusion.

 

He took in a shuddering breath and pushed the pillow up against the headboard, resting his heated face on the cooler sheets below. He waited, trying not to think too hard about this act, but just to… feel it. That seemed like a good enough idea.

 

He didn’t know how much time passed, but by the time he noticed, his body was more relaxed than it’d been after his orgasm. His head felt a bit… fluffy, devoid of thought. The continuous licking was almost rhythmic, lulling him, and he turned his head to cool his other cheek. He was met with a wet spot and it took a while to realise he’d been drooling.

 

A finger brushed just underneath his hole, before his testicles, and pushed firmly.

 

A muted flash of pleasure ran down his body and Ideguchi jerked involuntarily, surprised to feel his dick was almost painfully hard. When had that happened?

 

Then the finger breached his hole instead, moving in without any real resistance. Ideguchi let out a breathy sound in the back of his throat, not having the strength to fight against the intrusion. It didn’t feel any weirder than having a tongue in his ass, that’s for sure.

 

Soon he had two fingers in him, moving in and out rhythmically, stretching him more every time they bottomed out. They were also brushing past something (his prostate?) that had Ideguchi reflexively push back each time he felt it, chasing after the feeling single-mindedly.

 

When they pulled out entirely Ideguchi let out an embarrassing whine, and that shook him out of whatever daze he’d been in. He turned slightly to stare at Tokuchi, feeling very confused. The man waited for him to say something patiently, not looking at all like he’d just had his tongue and fingers inside another man.

 

“You… didn’t ask me to do that to you,” Ideguchi said finally.

 

Tokuchi raised an eyebrow, “Would you have done it had I asked you?”

 

The way Ideguchi shifted his eyes as he answered was more honest than the word that came out of his mouth, “…Yes.”

 

“…Next time then. I introduced you to the concept of it, so you’ll have less qualms about it.”

 

Ideguchi felt his heart jump in his chest. He wasn’t sure why.

 

He heard folium crinkling and turned back to face the bedcovers, getting up on his hands and knees as he did so.

 

“If you want to stop, just say so.”

 

Ideguchi breathed out softly; his last chance to back away. Even if he knew Tokuchi would stop even in the middle of fucking, he felt like this was the last stop to really say he didn’t want this. Which would be a lie anyway. “Go ahead,” he said instead.

 

The breach was both very strange and not as painful as he thought it’d be. He felt like the air in his lungs was being pushed out with every inch that Tokuchi filled him, feeling strangely like he was too full. He felt two consecutive taps against his thigh and Ideguchi realized he was too tense for Tokuchi to really move much, so he tried his best to relax his muscles.

 

When he’d managed that, Tokuchi made a couple of shallow thrusts, not really pulling out, nor was he pushing to the hilt. For Ideguchi’s benefit, probably, and he silently thanked the other for that, trying his best to just grow used to the weird feeling. If he really concentrated he could almost think he could feel Tokuchi’s cock in the bottom of his stomach. Slowly he felt Tokuchi’s thrusts gaining strength and speed and depth.

 

It didn’t feel bad, the brief brushes against his prostate sent pleasant shivers up his spine, and were slowly but surely making his thoughts fade over. But he was still a bit self-conscious about the whole thing, his mind still gathering info about the new situation, his body still cataloguing everywhere Tokuchi touched. Curiously enough, for the first time in his life, his mind was preventing him from enjoying the fucking for what it was.

 

His train of thought was shattered by a straight hit to what was probably his prostate. He felt his hand slip on the smooth covers and he planted face first into a pillow, moaning deliriously. Instinctively his legs opened wider and he pushed backwards, a high trill escaping him when he felt that same explosive pleasure again.

 

It was maybe two more hits against his prostate when he realized his muscles were too tense, and that he was forcibly staving off his orgasm only a few minutes into this.

 

Embarrassed, but absolutely wrecked, he whimpered into the bedcovers. “To-Tokuchi,” he choked, thighs quivering from every spot on thrust the blond man did.

 

“Yes, Ideguchi?” There was a strange lilt to the younger man’s voice. No doubt he already knew of the catcher’s predicament. And still he dragged his cock hard against the other’s prostate.

 

Ideguchi whined into the bedspread, whole body shuddering now from trying to stop his impending orgasm. “Slow down.” He wasn’t capable of longer sentences, his breath having left him a very long minute ago.

 

“Hmm, is that what you want?” Tokuchi asked, but even as he did so he slowed down his thrusts considerably. Ideguchi didn’t answer anything to that, still trying to catch his breath, but his body was relaxing itself again, not nearly as close to coming as he’d been before.

 

Then Ideguchi felt a hand on his cock and he seized up, sure he was going to come right there, but the hand tightened around his base and he choked back a whine when his testicles clutched up, finding that they were not able to release his orgasm, before relaxing again. Ideguchi moaned into a pillow, head full of cotton from the feeling of almost coming and then being denied.

 

Tokuchi didn’t take his hand away, keeping it there as a precaution, hand still tight around Ideguchi’s base, but he started to slowly speed up again now that the threat of an imminent orgasm wasn’t there. Well, it was, Ideguchi could still feel that if Tokuchi took away his hand he would soon crash over the edge, but for now Tokuchi was controlling when he could come.

 

If his head wasn’t so hazy right then he would’ve been slightly alarmed by these developments, but as it was he could just try and keep his breath as he was fucked deep and hard into the bed. He pushed his ass up into each thrust, all the while gasping out words he couldn’t for the life of him recognize as coherent anymore.

 

Now that Tokuchi had found his prostate, it was all Ideguchi could do to stay silent whenever it was hit, or even brushed against. It hadn’t felt like that when he brushed against his prostate before, so why could he turn his entire body into mush now?

 

Ideguchi’s hips started stuttering into Tokuchi’s hand, even if there was no relief coming from there, but still he couldn’t stop his body from reacting like that. Being kept constantly on the brink of orgasm and then being withheld from it made his body react more instinctively than he normally would in bed.

 

Tokuchi’s other hand came between his chest and the bed, pulling him up and away from the softness beneath him. Ideguchi straightened up on his knees and the arm around him steadied him against Tokuchi, the younger man instantly kissing and nipping the back of his neck.

 

His legs were feeling weak even as he was kneeling, shivering with every true thrust against his prostate. It took him a while but when the thrusting slowed down some, Ideguchi blinked and realised Tokuchi had asked him a question.

 

“Uhh, what?” His voice didn’t sound like his own anymore. It felt weird and foreign.

 

“Do you want to come yet?” Tokuchi repeated his question, relaxing his grip on the other’s cock slightly, before tightening again.

 

Ideguchi didn’t even wait to think it over, “Yes, p- ohh fuck, yes.” He had nearly replaced the word fuck with something a bit more imploring. He wasn’t quite sure he wanted Tokuchi to have that kind of power over him.

 

Tokuchi responded by pushing deeper up into him, harder, pounding into Ideguchi’s prostate with a kind of fervor he rarely showed off the diamond. Ideguchi for his part reached back around him and Tokuchi, pulling the other against him with each push as he tried his best not to keen out too loudly.

 

The hand left his cock and for a while Ideguchi felt like he was flying in zero gravity. Then, feeling the force of his orgasm even before it gushed out of his urethra, he let a sob out as Tokuchi helped him ride it out, while still stimulating him from both ends. Next Tokuchi’s arms both came around to hold him up so he wouldn’t fall back down, the strength in his slender arms distantly surprising Ideguchi.

 

Ideguchi let his head fall back against Tokuchi’s shoulder, staring up at the ceiling in a daze as he felt Tokuchi still thrusting in and out of him. He absently tried tightening his ass, feeling Tokuchi’s next thrust stutter, before he heard a low moan right next to his ear.

 

They stayed like that, both gasping for breath silently, the sweat on their skin cooling down rapidly. Too rapidly, in fact. Ideguchi grunted when Tokuchi pulled out, but didn’t really complain, and just sat down on the duvet, as the other man discarded the condom and brought a box of tissues to Ideguchi.

 

Ideguchi cleaned himself up in a tired daze now, before he just grabbed the blanket and went underneath it, feeling incredibly drowsy. His eyes followed the blond around the room as the other searched for his smokes, before walking back to bed and laying back against the headrest, lighting a cigarette. He had also brought an ashtray to the bedside table from somewhere in the hotel room.

 

The catcher just stared at the other for a while, watching the smoke curl upwards in a very distracting manner, wondering what it’d feel like to lean up and suck those tendrils in, what it’d feel like to share his breath with Tokuchi and vice versa. It was an innocently erotic thought up until he caught the smell of that cigarette and scrunched up his nose. There was a reason he didn’t smoke – the smell was something awful.

 

“Tokuchi,” Ideguchi finally prompted, pulling the covers up to his neck to not let any heat out. Also, seeing Tokuchi naked on top of the covers right next to him was sending shivers down his back – mostly because he felt cold looking at the other.

 

“Hmm?” Tokuchi hummed, golden eyes glancing down at Ideguchi in mild curiosity.

 

Ideguchi was silent for a long while as he locked eyes with the other, wondering if he could even say the words he was thinking, half hoping Tokuchi would just read his mind like he seemed to for the past few hours or so. After a bit, though, it became obvious Tokuchi could not, in fact, read minds, so Ideguchi had to say what he had in mind. “Could we do that again?”

 

Tokuchi blinked rapidly for a moment, seemingly caught off guard. It was funny, kind of, how someone like Ideguchi managed to throw off a genius like Tokuchi.

 

Tokuchi smiled, “What, you’re still not done?” he joked lightly.

 

Ideguchi gave a weak shove at the other, huffing, “No, you fuck. I meant in the future.”

 

Tokuchi stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray, before going under the covers as well, turning to face Ideguchi. “I don’t see why not. You certainly seemed up for a threesome with Kojima, unless, of course, you’ve changed your mind about that.” That wasn’t a jab at his indecisive behaviour, Ideguchi had to remind himself, just an observation. Tokuchi was good at human interaction, but sometimes he managed to say something so clinical it hurt to hear it.

 

Ideguchi felt his face heat up anyway so he looked away for a moment, gathering himself. “I wouldn’t mind. But maybe not the very next time, okay?” He was still a bit shaken from finding out he might be bisexual and then that he could actually fuck and get fucked by a guy in less than three hours. Threesomes kind of had to wait a bit until he could fully grasp the idea of being sexual with a guy.

 

“Of course,” Tokuchi said softly, “we have to up your stamina if you want to go up against Kojima. Or anyone else for that matter.”

 

Ideguchi flushed at that, quickly hiding his face in the pillow. And then the sentence actually hit him. “Wait,” he looked back at the younger man. “How many from the team have you been with?”

 

Tokuchi regarded him curiously for a moment, before answering, “Less than you think, more than you fear.”

 

How cryptic. Ideguchi huffed in irritation, “At least tell me if you’ve had sex with Imai, Arai, or Fujita.” He was closest to those three, so he kind of wished to know if they had also bedded Tokuchi.

 

“Hmm… No, no, and yes. Arai isn’t interested, Imai is in denial still, kind of like you were up until recently.”

 

Ideguchi pondered on this. “Will you pursue Imai?”

 

“He’s a dead end at the moment, but… if something close to a miracle happened, like what happened with you, and he decided to try it out, then why not? Usually I don’t bother with people who are too close-minded on that front. I don’t really have time to play counsellor to everyone’s repressed thoughts and whatnot.”

 

Ideguchi felt his mouth go dry at that. “Oh,” he said very, very quietly. Wasn’t that what had happened tonight with him, though?

 

Tokuchi sighed and came closer, pushing Ideguchi to lie on his back, before he laid his head on the catcher’s chest. “I already told you – you did not bore me during our encounter. I wouldn’t have bothered otherwise. In fact, you were…” Tokuchi actually took his time to search for the right word. “…stimulating.” Ideguchi snorted. “In more ways than one, I mean. It’s been a while since I’ve had such a fun pursuit.”

 

It was a bit telling what kind of people Tokuchi usually bedded then, Ideguchi realised. People who threw themselves at his feet, people who worshipped him, fans and the like. Ideguchi had to be persuaded, goaded into it. And Tokuchi had found it fun to carefully chip away at his preconceived notions and teach him things he hadn’t known about, gently guiding him towards both of their pleasures.

 

Tokuchi was such a child sometimes, Ideguchi thought with a grin. He became obsessed with stimulation and then pursued it for fun, quickly growing bored if something lost its edge.

 

Ideguchi threw his hand over Tokuchi’s slighter frame, delightedly noticing how very different their muscle tones and skin colours were. Tokuchi grunted on top of him, glancing at him briefly, “Don’t keep it there for long – you’re hot and I get overheated easily.”

 

Ideguchi felt his grin widen, “They _do_ say that I'm hot, yes.”

 

Tokuchi sighed, but didn’t try and say anything else.

 

Ideguchi, his drowsiness having disappeared because of their nice conversation, began tracing patterns on Tokuchi’s back. The skin underneath rippled lightly every few moments, indicating that shivers were running down the pitcher’s back. It felt curious, and Tokuchi didn’t say anything, so Ideguchi kept doing it, trying his best to memorize every spot that elicited that response, and how lightly he needed to press to get those.

 

“You don’t seem like the cuddling type,” Ideguchi hummed out finally, still letting his hands roam the other’s body.

 

“I’m not,” came the answer.

 

Ideguchi stopped. “Then why…?”

 

A sigh. “Because _you_ are. Now go to sleep.”

 

A jolt in his chest, Ideguchi stopped his roaming hand to place it somewhere away from Tokuchi’s body, so he wouldn’t bother the other more than he already was. Tokuchi didn’t even glance at him, just reached out his hand and pulled Ideguchi’s arm back around his body. “You can keep doing that if it helps you fall asleep, just don’t do it as lightly as you’ve been doing. I can’t sleep like that.”

 

“’Kay.”

 

 

––

 

 

Ideguchi woke up to an empty bed, but not a cold one. Tokuchi had woken up just a bit before him then. Wonder where he had gone?

 

Ideguchi sighed and stretched, before feeling a sharp pain in his backside, and he groaned mildly from the discomfort. That wasn’t good – he had baseball practice today. And so did Tokuchi.

 

He got up slowly and began gathering up his clothes lethargically, bringing them into the bathroom with him. He took a well needed shower, and was halfway finished putting his clothes back on when he heard the sound of a door closing from somewhere in the hotel room. He pulled his pants on quickly and went to investigate.

 

It was Tokuchi, of course it was, with a plastic bag that he placed on the kitchen island. Ideguchi raised his eyebrow, silently asking what was in it.

 

“Breakfast,” Tokuchi answered softly. “We didn’t really have dinner last night either, so I went to get us something to eat. It’s from the café down the street, but I think you won’t mind.” He took the plastic bowls out, along with chopsticks, and seated himself at the table with a bowl.

 

Ideguchi took his own bowl and unwrapped it gently, smiling when he noticed it was Oyakodon. He didn’t know how Tokuchi knew he liked this food, but he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Instead, he went to sit on the opposite end of the table, where he sat last night even, and began eating. There was his beer from last night on the table and Ideguchi wrinkled his nose at it, wondering if it would be worth it to drink the lukewarm beverage if he had nothing better to drink.

 

Tokuchi made that decision for him, however, when he went and took a bottled water out of the plastic bag and handed it to him. Ideguchi thanked him and drank the water.

 

They both ate in silence, Ideguchi lost in his thoughts, and Tokuchi regarding him curiously.

 

“How did you sleep?” Ideguchi asked finally, remembering their conversation from yesterday, “You didn’t overheat, I hope?”

 

Tokuchi blinked up at him, answering slowly, as if counting his words, “I was fine. You’re like a radiator, though.”

 

Ideguchi smiled bashfully, “Sorry. Can’t really help my core temperature.”

 

Tokuchi looked amused now, “It’s _fine_.” He was silent for a while, eating another mouthful of rice and natto, before he queried gently, “May I ask something?”

 

Ideguchi sat up a bit straighter, not sure what to expect, “Sure. Go ahead.”

 

Tokuchi took another while before he put his food away, having only made a dent in it. Ideguchi glanced at the bowl and suddenly realised he had never seen Tokuchi eat before. And it looked like he didn’t eat much in the first place. That… was a bit concerning, considering he was their most powerful pitcher and often had to pitch entire games.

 

“ _That_ ,” Tokuchi suddenly said, “You look like you’re worried about me.”

 

Ideguchi hesitated, wasn’t sure what answer was expected of him, “I… That’s not a question, Tokuchi.”

 

“Let me rephrase it then – why do you worry about me?”

 

Ideguchi paused, thinking the question over. Why did he worry about Tokuchi? It wasn’t like he didn’t know the man couldn’t take care of himself well enough. Also, it wasn’t really his place to fuss over others if it didn’t mess up their games. “I worry,” he started slowly, deliberating his words as he said them, “because I’m the captain and I need to know all my team mates are okay. I worry because,” and here his brow furrowed for a second as he wondered about what he was about to divulge, “because,” _I’ve grown fond of you_ , “you’ve become a friend of mine.”

 

Tokuchi leaned back in his chair, calculating, before a small smile tugged at his lips. “Interesting,” he murmured. He didn’t offer any insight into his thoughts, but he did pull his bowl back and began eating again.

 

Ideguchi brushed it all off his mind, used to not being allowed inside Tokuchi’s thoughts, and continued eating. He did wonder if Tokuchi considered him a friend as well, but he wasn’t so sure the other would even answer the question, so he just let it be for now.

 

When Ideguchi and Tokuchi finally made their way outside of the hotel they went back to Tokuchi’s convertible, the younger man having offered Ideguchi a ride to practice. Ideguchi wasn’t really in a position to turn the offer down, remembering how long they’d had to ride last night to get to the hotel, but once they were in the car, something started pricking at the back of his mind.

 

It wasn’t until five minutes later when they were at the practice grounds that it hit Ideguchi why the hotel had been so familiar. It was because it was literally a ten minute walk from here and Tokuchi had just ridden around the area while he’d-

 

Ideguchi very nearly gave Tokuchi the harshest pitching regimen he could think of, before his self-preservation instincts kicked in and he decided to just forget about it. Instead, he decided, he would just pay him back when they chose to get together again for another fuck.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I was going to add a scene where Ideguchi took a shower, but it never really fit in the story. Please shower before rimming someone haha.
> 
> 2\. Also condoms should be used during blowjobs as well.
> 
> 3\. The conversation Ideguchi has with Tokuchi in the morning after scene implies that Ideguchi might have a crush on Tokuchi. He doesn't realise it. Tokuchi does.
> 
> 4\. I'm really not going to write a sequel (it took me a fucking year to write this, im so done), but if anyone really wants to know what might happen next then hit me up and we can talk about it!
> 
> 5\. I'm asexual. Hope the sex scene was alright!
> 
> 6\. This story started off as the beginning for the story Beautiful, that I wrote a year ago. It changed courses halfway into it.
> 
> 7\. I really don't know much about baseball. I really dislike the beginning. Hope it didn't put any of you readers off.
> 
> 8\. Please tell me your favourite part! I'm dying to know what was really memorable in this story, if anything even was!


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